But I'm weird. My body is weird. The fat only shows on my belly with me: not on my hips, not on my side. So all my fat is on my belly and it makes me look pregnant. Argh. So, I need to gain about 50 pounds so fat can be all over or I need to lose. And I think the second is the better option. Only thing is when I try to lose it becomes and obsessive thing in my life and it spurs me into an eating disorder.